Pappa wants mamma naked
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
