Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
