Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
