do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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