And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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