Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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