Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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