So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
