i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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