she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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