I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
