Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
