I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
