I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
That was an excessively violent trivia night
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
