Dual....:-)
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Shame - the story of my life.
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