Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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