I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just found puke in my bra..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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