I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
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