sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
