Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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