Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
