it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
