That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
