PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize