brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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