I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
