i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
