Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I think I am morally bankrupt
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
