Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
