Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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