Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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