Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
