32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
