this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Enjoy the penises
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
