im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
