I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
