I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
