coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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