he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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