google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
