I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
