If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
