How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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