do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
