Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
