Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
