I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
