i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
