I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
