Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
North Korea, Best Korea!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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