Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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