tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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