sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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