I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
