Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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