It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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