Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
