weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
