I just pynch a tree in the face
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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