does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
